The Blessing of a Son
Little fingerprints all around
Bugs, frogs and trucks strewn on the ground
Our little boy has changed our home
With all the special things that he has known
Now our family is filled with love and fun
He brings energy and happiness to everyone
Thank the Lord for our beautiful boy
We have never known such pure joy
In the world of international adoption it is well known that there are more boys available for adoption than girls. Why is the adoption of boys less popular than the adoption of girls?
Is the answer as simple as the lack of education available regarding the success of boy adoptions? Unfortunately, there are certain norms and stereotypes that are often mentioned in the world of adoption. Take for example the following quote, an excerpt from the 1916 annual report of the Spence Alumni Society, one of the very first American adoption agencies: "Why do so many people prefer girls? The majority seem to feel that a girl is easier to understand and to rear, and they are afraid of a boy."
This may seem silly, but the same view still crops up regularly on web message boards and blogs. Simply put, parents might be afraid to adopt boys. When considering international adoption and the notion that male heirs to the family household is more desirable abroad, parents might perceive that "boys will tend to be put up for adoption when there's something seriously wrong with them, but many girls will be put up for adoption simply for being girls." This is simply not true. There is no evidence to suggest that boys who are available for adoption are less healthy or that something is seriously wrong with them verses girls available for adoption in the same country.
It is quite interesting that the adoption of girls internationally has outnumbered the adoption of boys 61% to 39%. In 2007, of the 19,471 children adopted internationally, 11,846 of those were girls and 7,789 of these were boys. Choice of gender is, obviously, a factor when it comes to adoption around the world. Parents will usually choose a girl instead of a boy to adopt.
Here are some facts and myths about the adoption of boys vs. girls…
Myth: Is it easier to adopt a girl verses a boy.
Fact: No. In fact, it is quite the opposite. The wait time is most always longer to adopt a girl. Also, the necessity to redo paperwork in order to keep it current while waiting for the referral of a girl is a problematic given.
Myth: Boys get in more trouble than girls
Fact: Girls can get in just as much trouble as boys. The success lies in the parenting abilities of the parents and not the gender of the child.
Myth: Mothers will be closer to their daughters than their sons
Fact: If you talk with any mom, she will tell you that she equally loves her son and daughter.
Myth: There are more girls available for adoption than boys
Fact: No, there are more boys available for adoption than girls in all countries except China. The prevalence of Chinese girls adopted by Americans has given us the false impression that girls are unwanted and therefore given away by their birthparents. China is a patriarchal society and this is why girls are available for adoption there. The opposite seems to be true in most other countries.
At Adoption Ark we have helped many parents adopt boys and girls. We can honestly say that our parents who have adopted boys are just as happy and in love with their sons as the parents who have adopted girls. In fact, several of the Adoption Ark staff are proud parents of boys adopted internationally. Please feel free to contact us and speak with us about our experience adopting a boy. Read to see what our parents have to say about their beautiful boys. We can provide references upon request, if you would like to talk to one of our parents about the adoption of a boy. Please visit the Adoption ARK Bookstore to find books about radoption and raising boys.
Before you make the important decision about your adoption please consider all the incredible qualities and positives about having a son and the adoption of boys.
Maybe John Lennon said it best in his song about his son…
Out on the ocean sailing away,
I can hardly wait,
To see you to come of age,
But I guess we'll both,
Just have to be patient,
Yes it's a long way to go,
But in the meantime,
Before you cross the street,
Take my hand,
Life is just what happens to you,
While your busy making other plans,
Beautiful,
Beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful Boy