Elina has travelled all over the world and has visited orphanages in many different countries. She allows us the insight into the life of an orphan that most of us are not privy to.
Can you tell us a little about yourself and your experience with orphans?
I've been blessed with the mission to help orphaned children. International adoptions have been a huge part. I have received many phone calls, emails, postcards from people who not only helped me to fulfill my mission by adopting a child, but also that child became a special blessing to their family. This has been the most rewarding experience to see our little children flourishing in their families.
However, often times I think about those kids who are left in the orphanages. I visited many orphanages in countries we work in or plan to work. I meet kids who are smart, beautiful, and curious about life. Most orphanages for younger children, care for them greatly, however as they get older, their future is less optimistic. As they get older, they begin to worry about what will happen to them. They hear the stories about their older friends committing suicide, being put to jail or simply disappearing. They understand that soon they will be on their own without anyone to help them.
As one Russian boy Dima said " I will die soon just as my friend did because no one wants me and no one needs me, no one cares" . I have two older daughters 18 and 16 who volunteered during our Summer Programs in Russia. They talk about the kids who were left behind every day. As a mother of two, I can hardly imagine how a child can thrive without individual support of adults. I feel that my mission is not over until every child in every country will have a family or caring adults who will help them to become caring, productive individuals and not just vanish.
I began my work in the adoption field because I saw many homeless kids on the streets of Moscow as I grew up; at some point I realized that bringing donations to the orphanages or giving money to the kids on the streets in Moscow is just not enough… that is why we founded Adoption ARK.
In what countries have you visited orphanages?
I have visited orphanages in Russia, Kazakhstan, Ethiopia, Brazil, Azerbaijan, Uzbekistan, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Nepal, India, and Mongolia.
How were the orphanages different in each country?
Many orphanages have established a vastly superior system than the one from the 1990s. I found that in recent years, the conditions in orphanages have improved, despite poverty. In many countries like Nepal and Ethiopia the physical environment of government orphanages is still very poor. I am very excited that Nepal has reopened because that will give Adoption ARK an opportunity to help more.
I especially want to praise the orphanages in Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Azerbaijan and Russia where kids are not only being cared for, but also being loved. One of the orphanage directors in Russia was so passionate about helping kids that she had the governor donate a pony to her orphanage .Adoption ARK helped with the building of a house for the pony. It is thought that taking pony rides will help children with cerebral palsy to improve their coordination.
In Kazakhstan, the caretakers cry each time a child is adopted. When I visit the orphanage I’m always surprised that they still remember the names of children that were adopted 2-3 years ago and their eyes begin to tear up when they look at the pictures of these children with their new families. They are filled with absolute joy in knowing that their children are being loved by their families.
I feel that the improving care in orphanages will help to minimize attachment issues of orphans that researchers once blamed on lack of care and stimulation.
Is it difficult when you visit the orphanages to leave the children?
The hardest part of my job is to realize that not all of the children will be saved. Some kids cannot be adopted due to their legal status, some will be lost due to bureaucratic errors, some are simply too old to be adopted.
While I am accepting the fact that some children cannot be adopted due to legality, I have a hard time accepting that someone can be too old to be a child. The whole meaning of the word “older children" makes no sense to me. I see that many agencies are lowering their fees for the adoption of children over 7 years of age because no one seems to want them.
When I was at our summer program in Russia, out of 120 kids only 5 were kids with problems that possibly are not correctable. All other kids, even those who were labeled "difficult" by orphanage personnel were just kids who developed a set of defense mechanisms against their harsh life. One 12 year old boy told me he would quit smoking as we were both wiping tears away when it was time to say goodbye. Sometimes I wonder if he will ever find the love he felt from our camp volunteers. I hope that love will be a little light that will guide him through life.
Was there a certain child or event that really stood out or changed you?
When we did our first summer program in Visalia, CA I fell in love with a 7 year old boy. His name was Bogdan, which means “God given”. I felt an immediate connection to him and later found out that his birthday is the same as my older daughter. We found a wonderful family for him who committed to adopt him. Unfortunately after almost 2 years of struggling to have his documents processed through the legal departments of the foreign government, the family lost their hope.
So, I decided to adopt him. But a few month later, the country prohibited single women to adopt. I still have pictures of him all over my house; I can't get him another family. It is already hard to find a family for now a 12 year old boy but in addition it has to be a family so committed that they will be willing to fight to get his legal status cleared. He was abandoned a long time ago but the orphanage never finalized the rejection letter from his mother even though she never wanted him. The last thing we did was, we were able to convince the orphanage to submit his file to the court. There is not a single day in my life when I do not think of him.
There was another boy that I connected with during our summer program in Russia; he was 7 years old, Sasha. I spent so much time with him listening to his stories, holding his hand, defending him from the caretakers’ opinions that he was delayed and has to go to a special needs school. I came home thinking about adopting him, but I knew because of his age he will be transferred to the Special Needs orphanage before I can complete my dossier. I found a paper ready family and they adopted Sasha. He is great kid, well adjusted and doing well in school. I am so happy for you, Sasha!!
I can tell more stories when my professional boundaries blurred and I fell in love with kids: Tanya, Max, Tolegen, Katyua. I can name many; however, my passion was always for older kids. We started this agency to help kids and older kids are those who need help the most.
How is Adoption ARK helping orphans?
Adoption ARK has many plans to help orphans, rebuilding roofs for HIV positive kids’ orphanage, getting beds for another orphanage, building playgrounds, summer programs with art therapy, sponsorship of cancer treatment for orphans, milk and formula, clothes and equipment, and private foster care homes.
Those are just a few programs that we funded with help of our supporters through the charitable branch of Adoption ARK called ARK Mission. However there is so much work that still needs to be done. Our dream project is to find a way to help older kids transition to adult life.
If people are interested in helping these kids, what can they do?
If you feel a special calling in your heart to help children then one day when you are at the playground or near a school or a park with happy kids running around please think how it feels not to have a mom you can run to when you got hurt, not to have any of toys you can call your own, not to have an adult you can rely on for protection, not to be able to say the words: mom or dad or grandpa or grandma.
Think about what you can do to help. Adoption is the most wonderful way to help these children. If you feel your home is a place with the energy and recourses to give a child a home, please do so, but think about the kids that need it the most. The adoption of older children can be the most rewarding experience, however get educated first because many times this will require a special commitment and the help of specialists to assist your child to adjust.
If you want to help but cannot commit to adoption there are many other ways to things you can do. Donate money for our Special projects, ask your work to “adopt an orphanage" that they can continue to support. Get involved in our projects! We are currently looking for volunteers to keep our Adoption ARK site updated, grant writers, support families for those who are in process and
movie makers to help us to promote the needs of orphans. You can visit www.arkmission.org for more information.
If we all work together we can help thousands of wonderful children lead happy lives!!