I was an only child and a very happy one so when my husband and I had our son I was content and thought I was finished having children. Then, one day my husband mentioned to me something he had heard about an orphanage in Istanbul. It made us think, “What if our son were in an orphanage and no one adopted him because by standards at only the age of 5 he was “old”? We decided to adopt an “older” child.
There were some delays and by the time all of our paperwork and clearances were finished our son was 7 so we decided to adopt a child between the ages of 5 and 7. We agreed to accept a referral in Kazakhstan for a little boy named Igor. He was 7 and the oldest of the children we were considering.
From the first moment I saw this nervous boy I knew we were taking him home. Though he did not speak anything but Russian you could tell that he was scared that we might not like him and that he wanted to please us. Can you imagine that type of pressure? After two weeks of visiting him and the other orphans at the orphanage and another two weeks of waiting we went to court and he became part of our family. We changed his name to Edgar (close to Igor) and my other son gave him a middle name of James, which he liked because of James Bond. Soon he came to America to see his new home and meet the rest of his family.
The language barrier was never an issue. We all got really good at playing charades to get our points across and I guess when you have something to say you pick up a language out of necessity. Teaching the rules was a little challenging but not any more so than teaching my other son. It was just a lot to learn in a short time. I made picture charts to help and it worked beautifully.
The really fun part is that everything is new. People think about things like Christmas being new, which they are, but even having a pizza delivered to your home is exciting!
Flash forward 9 months. I can’t imagine life without both of my boys! They genuinely love one another though they fight like biological brothers. They play, play, and play. In fact as I am typing this they are both outside trying to build yet another fort together.
In school Edgar is at level in math and is quickly catching up in English. Unfortunately he has forgotten how to speak Russian though he does understand it. The entire school loves him! He has many friends and considered well behaved and very popular.
His extended family loves him just as much as he loves them. He bonds quickly with anyone that shows him love. He loves meeting new family members.
Really the hardest part of having Edgar is putting him to bed at night. He doesn’t understand why I have to stop him at about 100 kisses because of a bedtime.
Anyone thinking that an “older” child is “ruined” is wrong! My little “old” boy is wonderful and adopting him was one of the best decisions we have ever made!
Nikki Couture and family